Thinking…

Today,I found myself in retrospect. I was looking back to the years that had passed by. Life had been hard. That was good because it made me stronger. Life had been rejuvenating at times. That was good too, since it gave me the hope that there will be better times.

When I landed on this land of dreams, I was a starry eyed young kid, eager to enjoy freedom. I did that and more. Then life took more payback from me. I learnt for the first time how to fall down and get back up on my own.

Then there was a small bout of self indulged happiness. I got a job, made a career, did some travel, earned finer tastes in life and all that good stuff. I felt like I had achieved a lot back then. I even gloated about it. Then it became all silent.

I still hold a good career and other materially satisfiable objects but there was emptiness within. I felt I needed to challenge myself. Physically and mentally. Reach my bounds. See what I can do, not just for me but for others as well. That’s when I embarked upon a journey.

The journey took me through the limits of physical and mental breakdown points. I realise I am not the same person anymore. We change everyday. I feel joining Muay Thai and training for a marathon really changed the way I perceive life. Made it very simple actually. I long to serve others and derive happiness from that. That does not mean I have given up enjoying life on my own. I have not denounced small pleasures in life – I love to do what I like to do, but there is also a sense of deep felt satisfaction when I am able to help others as well. I ended up 3 years later, a lot more happier person. I still feel I can do a lot, to make my life more meaningful.

Someone once said to me “you are a very shallow person, you just have what millions of other women have – a job, some money and freedom. You are self obsessed. Thats not an achievement”. I was very angry upon seeing this comment. I felt offended. But I realized later that I should never let someone manipulate me by letting them tell me what they think of me. Simple fact : No one knows the truth about another person. So, to that anonymous soul out there, go find something useful to do! And thanks!

Therefore when I read that comment now, I have a satisfied smile grow on my face. Less than 0.1% of humans have ever completed a marathon. I proudly am part of that elite group. In that process, I helped raise funds for fighting blood cancer. Raising this money showed me how much suffering there is out there and how much kindness as well. I was drawn to a grinding halt by the amazing acts of generosity and volunteerism.

I slowly realise some things – life comes at you hard, life comes at you fast. How you react to those obstacles defines who you are. I want to be a good friend, a loving girl, a successful and dutiful daughter…but I realise, I have been all that. Now, I just have one simple policy – “live life fully, let others live theirs too”. I am a happy person today. Thanks Muay Thai, thanks to all of you who helped me train for the marathon and many many thanks to all those people who donated. You all showed me what one can do for another. I will carry the lesson with me. I am off to San Diego now. Wish me Luck…